The Non-binary Therapist

          Besides being a therapist, I am also a member of the greater pagan community. There are toxic people out there with narratives like "There are only two genders". These people are not limited to who you might think they are. They are literally everywhere, and it is sad. Specifically, I have seen a rise in pagan communities, especially Wicca, in binary thinking. This is an outdated and dangerous concept, and it trickles down to our youth. Our impressionable youth who are suffering and trying to grapple with their identities for the first time.            I was with a non-binary client the other night who is in middle school. They were talking about a "bully" in school that was insisting that 1. "Gay is a bad thing" because he is a "Christian" and 2. That "there are only two genders". My client-bless their heart (they are a chip off the old block)-challenged this individual. They said, "Actually there are 28 genders out th

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a client of mine that identifies as non-binary, and they brought up the concept of non-binary clothing. Let's be clear first: I don't think clothing does or should possess gender. All genders should be free to wear whatever clothing they want, despite the color, cut, or style. However, the idea of gender neutral clothing is (or those that can be defined as neither overtly "feminine" or "masculine") is one I often find myself feeling most comfortable in, so I could empathize with their frustration.  To date, I know of no official non-binary clothing lines, but to help them, I started formulating a list of non-binary or gender neutral clothing resources. So, if you're one of those people like my client and me, and you feel you want to dress somewhere in the middle, please consider these options:  https://www.genderfreeworld. com https://thephluidproject.com https://www.pacsun.com/unisex/ https://www2.hm.com/en_us/ divided/

I work for a rather large agency, for one of my counseling jobs. It's of those corporations that likes to claim they're LGBTQ+ friendly, but like everyone else in corporate, straight, America, they have large blind spots.  About a month ago, I was in a required meeting, and the topic of pronouns on Zoom was brought up. In the session, a CIS, straight, white woman, announces, "If you don't already have your pronouns on Zoom, please put them up. It shows people we are accepting of LGBTQ+". I sat there for a second and recognized what was wrong with this statement.....         By forcing clinicians to put their pronouns on Zoom, you are forcing them to come out their fellow employees, their superiors, and even their clients. Let that sink in for a second. They were so concerned about being accepting that they forgot that an LGBTQ+ employee might be on their staff and that they may not be out to their colleagues and superiors, not to mention their clients.  If I have

      Let's be honest, LGBTQ+ therapists are hard to find. LGBTQ+ therapists that are open about their identity are even more few and far between. Now, try adding an LGBTQ+ therapist that sees adolescents on top of that. Finding a provider is almost impossible. I see clients from the age of 6-100, but my focus is on adolescents. I've noticed over this past year that LGBTQ+ adolescents have little to no support and few resources. Sure, they're growing up in a generation that's different from us Millennials or Gen X'ers. They  have more access to vocabulary, the internet, social media, etc. But finding an LGBTQ+ therapist that identifies with the same population, understands and has the knowledge to work with adolescents is nearly impossible. Add on top of that that a lot of parents are not accepting of their adolescents who are first coming out.  I was speaking to a friend of mine the other night who has a 9 year-old that just came out as a lesbian and non-binary. I&

      The other night, I was having a session with a client that identifies as agender. We were talking about their dysphoria, that has recently reared its ugly head, and I began to thinking about coping mantras for dysphoria. I've seen mantras for all sorts of things: anxiety, depression, motivation..you name it, but I had never seen any mantras for dysphoria. So, I decided to take it upon myself to create my own list, which I will share with you here. I hope you enjoy them, add to them, and use them well:  Mantras (for dysphoria):  "It’s okay to be me".  "It’s okay if my outside does not match my inside." "My body parts do not define me".  "My body does not define me". "It’s okay to dress how I feel comfortable". "I’m unique, and no one else defines me".  "I am exactly as God or the Gods intended me to be".  "My gender is exactly how I define it".   "I don't have to gender if I don't want

 Greetings Earthlings:  I am a non-binary therapist, working in healthcare. A non-binary therapist you say? Yes, indeed, we do exist in the healthcare world too. Imagine that. As a non-binary person, I have been passionate about working with LGBTQ+ people for the entirety of my career. I am creating this blog as a free resource for queer folks, queer therapists, non-queer therapists who are interested in learning, and the people of the world who are interested in supporting and affirming queer folx. I hope you will enjoy reading my thoughts and enjoy my therapy tips and suggestions.  As the world spins on, we continue to walk in our truth. Stay safe.  -"D"