Forcing people to come out-How the straight world doesn't think about us.

I work for a rather large agency, for one of my counseling jobs. It's of those corporations that likes to claim they're LGBTQ+ friendly, but like everyone else in corporate, straight, America, they have large blind spots. 

About a month ago, I was in a required meeting, and the topic of pronouns on Zoom was brought up. In the session, a CIS, straight, white woman, announces, "If you don't already have your pronouns on Zoom, please put them up. It shows people we are accepting of LGBTQ+". I sat there for a second and recognized what was wrong with this statement.....

        By forcing clinicians to put their pronouns on Zoom, you are forcing them to come out their fellow employees, their superiors, and even their clients.

Let that sink in for a second. They were so concerned about being accepting that they forgot that an LGBTQ+ employee might be on their staff and that they may not be out to their colleagues and superiors, not to mention their clients. 

If I have an LGBTQ+ client, I don't mind being out to them. I think it's important for LGBTQ+ clients to know they're supported and to have someone that understands their exact struggles. But in reality-I don't ONLY work with LGBTQ+ clients. I live in a fairly progressive state, but we are not immune to bible thumpers here, who want to revoke trans rights, among other things. 

So, the question became: To pronoun or not to pronoun? I decided to put up my pronouns, but this was my choice, and it should be every employee's choices as to whether or not they feel comfortable coming out. Maybe if I lived in a more conservative state, I would have been more cautious about this decision. In reality, coming out as a therapist can actually lose you clients. 

Moral of the story: Don't force people to come out. If you're like me, you're really tired of the "corporate nonsense" where they celebrate Pride once per year and forget about us the rest of the 11 months of the year. 

For the CIS, straight people out there: Check yourself. Look at your words and actions. Think before making a mandate, if you're in a leadership position. Put yourself in an LGBTQ+ person's shoes.

You will be better for it, and the world will be better for it. 

Until next time-

                                                                                            "D", your non-binary therapist/warrior person